So, correct me if I'm wrong here, I just want to clarify today's celebrations:
- 6000 years ago God created the Earth.
- He created two people, Adam and Eve. He told them not to eat the apple.
- Man let's face it, being man, snuck a wee nibble.
- God being a bit peeved, despite really loving us, punished the couple by refusing entry into heaven for all their descendants for the next 4000 or so years. All souls went to purgatory... b ecause a guy ate an Apple ( we're in a heap of shit if he sees what we're getting up to these days... but I digress).
- Feeling that he made his point, God sub-divided himself and sent part of him in human form down to Earth.
- This guy then got himself/his son crucified so that he could forgive us. That makes sense.
- Three days later he rose again, and 4000 years of punished souls were forgiven (because their descendant ate an apple) and were finally allowed into heaven.
- And today we act like this God was doing us a good deed, and we celebrate by eating chocolate eggs and exclaim on popular social networks, "Praise Jesus, he is risen." (just to clarify here, he was risen, he later ascended and hadn't been spotted since).
Happy Easter everyone :)
